Surrendering (Swans Landing) Page 7

  “You should listen to Mr. Richter,” I said. “These finfolk could come at any time. You don’t want to be out there, facing them alone.”

  Mr. Connors sneered at me. “I ain’t scared of nobody, boy, least of all freaks like you. I’ve dealt with the trash of your kind long enough to know that the only good finfolk is a dead one. Like your daddy.”

  I clenched my teeth, but I forced myself not to slam my fist into his jaw.

  His gaze flicked toward Sailor and he looked her up and down, his lip curling. “Too bad you found your mama still alive, girl. Just when we thought we’d rid this island of one piece of trash, you had to go and bring her back.”

  I reached out to grab Sailor and hold her back before she could lunge at Mr. Connors, but another figure stepped between us. Jim Moody stared at Mr. Connors, an ancient double barrel shotgun clutched in his hands.

  “Harry,” Mr. Moody said, his eyes never leaving the other man’s face. “I’ll have to ask you leave my store. I ain’t tolerating harassment of my customers.”

  Mr. Connors’s face twisted into a snarl. “Ain’t I your customer, Jim? Or you gone soft over these freaks too?”

  The shotgun rose steadily as Mr. Moody aimed it at Mr. Connors’s chest. “I’ll ask one more time, Harry. Leave, or you’ll never make it out of here in one piece.”

  “Don’t tell me you’ve grown a conscience now,” Mr. Connors snarled. “She may be your granddaughter, but she’s just as much an abomination as the rest of them. You made a mistake long ago with her grandma. We can all understand that, the way they use their songs to manipulate and control us. But if you don’t watch yourself, Jim, the rest of us might not be so understanding anymore.”

  Mr. Moody raised the shotgun until the barrel was pointed at Mr. Connors’s head. “I’ll give you three seconds to get the hell out of my store.”

  Mr. Connors opened his mouth, then snapped it shut. He shot us all one last glare before he stomped out of the store.

  Mr. Moody lowered his gun, his shoulders sagging. Then he turned and looked at Sailor.

  “If he bothers you again, let me know,” Mr. Moody said. He nodded once to me, then started back down the aisle, swinging the gun at his side.

  “Thanks,” Sailor said. She didn’t look at him, but stared at the jar of spaghetti sauce she rolled back and forth between her hands.

  Mr. Moody paused and glanced at her, then at the floor. “How is Gale? And…your mama?”

  Sailor set the jar back on the shelf and then bent to pick up her shopping basket. “You should come see for yourself,” she said. She hitched the basket onto her arm and then disappeared out the door, the bell jingling behind her.

  * * *

  “It’s freezing out here,” Mara said as she sat down on the edge of my beach towel. She offered me a thermos. “I brought you some soup.”

  The plastic bottle felt good on my cold fingers and I cupped my hands around it as I smiled gratefully at her. “Thanks,” I said.

  Mara leaned close to me, slipping her arm through my elbow. “No problem. It sucks you got one of the late shifts.”

  There were three of us at different points along the ocean side of the island, working in eight hour shifts. I had volunteered to take an overnight shift, but Lake insisted that the adults would do that. I had bitten my tongue to keep from pointing out that my eighteenth birthday had already passed and therefore, I was technically an adult.

  “When do you think they’ll come?” Mara asked. The last bits of sunlight were fading behind the foggy clouds and we couldn’t see very far into the water. But I peered into the distance as hard as I could, my eyes watching for any shape that seemed out of the ordinary.

  “I don’t know,” I answered. “I don’t think it will be much longer. Even without them knowing the exact way, they couldn’t have gotten too far behind.”

  Mara’s grip on my arm tightened. “I keep hoping they won’t come. Maybe they’ll get lost.”

  “Or eaten by sharks?” I asked, with a smirk.

  Mara laughed. “We can only hope.”

  I shared the hot soup with her, though I noticed she didn’t drink much. Mara had had an early day shift at Pirate’s Cove. I figured Lake had arranged that to put her at the least likely place for the finfolk to appear. My shift was near the lighthouse, where we all expected the finfolk to come. The light would guide them directly to our shores, but there was no way we could turn it off without risking other boats and ships running aground.

  When Mr. Richter arrived to take over the watch for me, Mara and I walked back toward her house. The streets were still quiet and empty. It felt like mid-winter, not late summer.

  “Why is it so cold and cloudy?” I asked. I slipped my arm around Mara’s shoulders and pulled her closer to me for warmth.

  “It’s been this way since winter,” Mara said. “It’s like it never really went away.”

  I looked up at the mist swirling in the sky over our heads. “It reminds me of Hether Blether,” I said. Something tickled in the back of my mind as I spoke this thought. Like I was missing something I had overlooked. But no matter how hard I searched my thoughts, I couldn’t figure out what it was.

  “What do you think these finfolk will do when they get here?” Mara asked. “Will they make us all go back to Hether Blether with them? Will they move here?”

  I shook my head. “I’m not sure exactly what Domnall wants to do. He says he wants to save the finfolk from dying out, but if he just wants more people in Hether Blether, then we could give directions to anyone who wants to get there. His coming here is not a good sign. He has no sympathy for humans.”

  We reached Mara’s door and paused on the steps, facing each other. I leaned my forehead against hers, closing my eyes and enjoying the warmth of her body.

  “I wish everything could stay like this,” she said. “Just you and me.”

  I kissed her, wrapping my arms tight around her waist and pressing her into me. I had wanted this, all those months I was gone. I wanted her, all of her.

  But then I thought of my dad and I pulled away.

  “What’s wrong?” Mara asked.

  “Nothing,” I said. I couldn’t meet her eyes and when I tried to kiss her again, she moved out of the way.

  “Don’t tell me nothing,” Mara said. “I’m the queen of ‘nothing.’ Something’s wrong. I can see it on your face.”

  I traced a crack in the wooden railing next to me with my thumb. “Do you ever wonder what makes people attracted to each other?”

  “You mean besides the prospect of sex?” Mara grinned.

  My cheeks burned hot, but I went on.

  “I mean, it all seems so fickle, doesn’t it? How can you be in love one day and want nothing to do with each other the next?”

  Mara’s eyes narrowed as she studied me. “What is this about, Josh?” Her voice held a worried tone.

  “My parents,” I said, and Mara’s expression relaxed a bit.

  “What about them?” she asked.

  I ran a hand over my hair. “I have to believe that at some point, my parents were in love. They got married, they made me. There must have been some kind of attraction there. So if that was true, why did my dad fall in love with someone else so easily?”

  “Your dad made a conscious choice. He knew what he was doing and he could have chosen not to act on it.”

  “What made him decide to throw away his marriage for another woman? Was it the human part of him, or was it the finfolk trapped inside?” The questions haunted me every second.

  “It’s not a human or a finfolk thing, it’s a personal decision. He could have kept his distance from Sailor’s mom, or he could have divorced your mom first.”

  “It just seems like it’s too easy to hurt someone you think you love,” I said.

  “What’s really wrong with you?” Mara asked. “There’s more you’re not telling me.”

  I closed my eyes, letting out a long breath. “What if I’m like him? I don’t w
ant to hurt you, but what if I can’t stop myself from doing it one day?”

  Mara gripped my chin, turning my face toward her so I could look into her eyes. “Josh, you are not your dad. Whatever he did, it was his choice. It doesn’t mean you’ll do the same things he did.”

  I knew she was right. The words sounded so reasonable. But I couldn’t chase away the feeling inside me, like there was something waiting to fall apart because I’d make the wrong choice.

  “I just wish I could have known what he was thinking,” I whispered.

  Mara leaned forward, pressing her lips to mine. I let myself give in to her kiss, pushing away thoughts of my parents and everyone else. I wanted this moment, this time we had to ourselves.

  She reached behind her and unlocked the door to her house. It was dark. Her dad was probably already out at his station at the beach for the night watch. We stumbled through the doorway, our lips never breaking the hungry kiss.

  I pushed her against the wall, one hand slipping under her shirt to touch the soft skin of her stomach. She sighed softly and pressed against the back of my head, pulling me into her like she couldn’t get close enough to me.

  “What do you see when you hear the song?” Mara asked, her lips close to my ear. She hummed a few notes of the water song, causing gold bursts to erupt along the edges of my vision.

  “You,” I told her. “Always you.”

  But when I glanced to the side, where the gold bursts were strongest, the hazy form I saw there wasn’t Mara, but a face I had only seen in photographs.

  My father.

  I stepped back, wrenching my hands from Mara’s body. My pulse throbbed throughout my body. I felt the absence of her as if part of myself had been torn away.

  Mara blinked at me, her lips swollen and her eyes shining in the dim room. “What is it?” she asked, panting a little.

  I scrubbed at my eyes, trying to chase away the remains of the song’s effects. “I should go,” I said.

  Mara looked at the door, then at the darkened room behind us. “You don’t have to. Lake won’t be back until morning.”

  Her tone held the promise of something I had only imagined happening. I couldn’t deny that I wanted nothing more than to stay with her all night. My entire body ached with the need to stay.

  But Lake’s words echoed in my head. Sometimes you don’t think about the consequences before you act. You don’t think about how hard it might be later.

  It was already hard enough right now. I didn’t want to mess things up. I didn’t want to repeat mistakes my dad had made by jumping into things without thinking.

  I kissed her softly, then pulled away. “No,” I said. “I should go.”

  She leaned against the door as I descended the stairs. I paused and sucked in a deep breath of cool air, then let it out slowly, watching as my breath mixed into the mists in the air. I must have been insane or stupid. Possibly both. My body screamed at me to go back to her, even as my head told me that I had the same blood as my father and would make the same mistakes he did.

  Don’t walk away from this chance, Canavan, a voice in my head said. When would Mara and I have a night alone like this again? If I walked away now, I knew I would regret it tomorrow. If Mara ran to Dylan because I blew her off at a moment like this, I wouldn’t even blame her.

  But I couldn’t hook up with Mara now, when my mind was too preoccupied. I wanted to be sure, I wanted to know that it was right. I didn’t want it to be something we did just because we were afraid we wouldn’t have the chance again, or because I was trying to prove something to myself.

  I didn’t want it to be hard later. When it happened, I wanted no consequences, no regrets for both of us.

  Mara still stood in the doorway at the top of the steps. I gave her one last wave, then I forced myself to walk away.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  The house was quiet when I walked in, which wasn’t unusual. I was getting used to the quiet around the Mooring house.

  I peeked into the hall and saw the doors of the three bedrooms were all shut. There was light coming from the crack under Sailor’s door and I could hear her muffled voice drift toward me, followed by Callum’s. I could only imagine what they might be doing in there, locked away with no supervision.

  In the living room, I flopped down onto the couch and sighed. How was it fair that Sailor could move her boyfriend into her house while Mara and I had to keep our distance? I wondered what Miss Gale would think about Callum staying there if she were well enough to notice. Maybe I should tell her what was going on.

  No, I wouldn’t do that. It was Sailor’s business, and if she wanted her boyfriend or whatever Callum was to her in her room, then why should I care? She always did what she wanted anyway.

  I bit my lip, feeling guilty about that thought. Sailor was still my half-sister. She had always been the one person who was there for me, who accepted me as I really was.

  A sound at the front door startled me. I waited, straining my ears to listen. There it was again. A footstep, just outside the front door.

  The hairs on the back of my neck prickled. I didn’t know if it was Domnall and the finfolk or else Mr. Connors sneaking around the house again, but neither was a good option.

  I tiptoed across the room, slipping up to the wall next to the door. I peeked out the window at the front of the house, but I didn’t see anyone. My body was rigid, my legs tensed to spring at the first sign of trouble. I needed a weapon. A bat or something. An umbrella stand sat in the corner behind the door and I carefully eased a green umbrella from the group, wielding it over my head like a club.

  Taking a deep breath, I grabbed the knob and snatched the door open, letting out a choking growl when I saw a figure standing on the front stoop.

  “It’s me, boy!” a voice growled from behind the raised hands.

  I lowered my umbrella, blinking as my gaze took in Mr. Moody huddled away from me.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked. I tossed the umbrella aside, feeling silly for carrying it.

  Mr. Moody scratched at his chin. “I came to see Gale. Like Sailor told me I should.”

  “It’s kind of late,” I pointed out.

  Mr. Moody looked up at the night sky, like he had just noticed the darkness around him. “Oh. Right. I can come back tomorrow.”

  “No, it’s okay.” I stepped back to let him in. “Miss Gale is in bed, but you can go see her. She’s always in bed these days.”

  Mr. Moody stood just inside the door, looking around the house like he was far outside of his comfort zone. His eyes took in the crystals hanging from the skylights over us and then the blue walls. He dug his hands deep into his pockets.

  A step in the hallway caught my attention and I turned to see Sailor, with Callum right behind her. Sailor’s mouth fell open when she spotted Mr. Moody.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked.

  Mr. Moody cleared his throat. “I, uh, I came to see your grandma.”

  Sailor scowled. “Why?”

  Mr. Moody scratched his chin. “I thought I’d take your advice.”

  Sailor stepped forward, but kept the island counter between herself and her grandfather. “No, I mean, why now? All these years and you’ve never come. Now she’s sick and suddenly you want to be here?”

  Callum put a hand on Sailor’s shoulder, but she didn’t acknowledge him.

  Mr. Moody’s beard twitched as he swallowed. “I’ve always wanted to be here, Sailor.”

  Her eyes turned glassy as she looked at him. “Then why weren’t you?”

  “Sailor,” Callum said soothingly as he rubbed his hands over her arms. “You should lie down for a while. You’re tired and you could use a good rest.”

  Sailor glared across the room at her grandfather, who rubbed at his chin, his gaze on the floor. Finally he lifted his eyes to her and said, “I’m only human, Sailor. I make mistakes. But I’m not the only one.”

  Callum whispered in Sailor’s ear and she let him pull her a
way from the counter. They disappeared back down the hall and then a moment later, I heard the click of her bedroom door closing again.

  I shoved my hands deep into the pocket of my hoodie. Mr. Moody exhaled a long, ragged breath. He didn’t speak and the silence grew thicker as minutes passed.

  Finally, I dared to speak. “Do you want me to see if Miss Gale is awake?” I asked.

  Mr. Moody nodded. “That would be good, son. Thank you.”

  He followed me as I walked down the hall to Miss Gale’s room. There was no light coming from under Sailor’s door. Maybe Callum had convinced her to lie down. She was on edge a lot lately. I didn’t know if it was just the lingering exhaustion from our long swim or the stress of waiting for something to happen. Or maybe it was the situation she had gotten herself into with Callum and Dylan.

  I tapped softly on Miss Gale’s door as I opened it. The room was dark and still. I could make out the shape of Miss Gale on the bed, but she didn’t respond when I called her name.

  “I think she’s asleep,” I told Mr. Moody. I motioned for him to come in. “But she probably wouldn’t mind if you woke her.”

  Mr. Moody walked across the room slowly, as if it was hard to get one foot in front of the other. His back was stooped more than usual and he reached out a trembling hand toward Miss Gale when he reached the bed. He looked at her for a moment, his beard twitching as he pressed his lips together.

  I started to back out of the room, but he said, “You don’t have to go, boy. I wouldn’t mind the company.”

  Mr. Moody sat down in the chair next to the bed, which Sailor or Coral usually occupied. I wasn’t sure what to do with myself, so I stood near the door, my hands in the pockets of my hoodie.

  Mr. Moody didn’t speak for a long time. He just sat there, looking at Miss Gale as she slept. Her soft breathing was the only sound in the darkened room.